Monday, September 28, 2009

missing you

For my dear friends, I’m really sorry for my absence. I just want to share with you guys why. Right now I’m still emotional but after me sharing everything.. my blog will go back to normal, I just have to share this.Its because of her..




She’s my tita (aunt), my mom’s sister. From her face, you will never guess that she’s not like everyone else. She’s special. Got into an accident when she was young causing her brain to not fully function. Although, she can converse with people and follow easy instructions, she cannot read/write and remember things (But thankfully she remembers all her family members). She’s 41 years old with a memory of a young child. She never got to experience a normal life. My grandma left her with my mom for 25 or more years. I pity her for she was unable to feel the beauty of life but this does not affect her attitude towards us. Always smiling, she takes care of me when my mom is not around because of work. As old as I am now, she still cooks for me and comforts me whenever I need to. Lets just say I’m spoiled when it comes to her. Yes, Im such a lazy bum that sometimes I ask her to feed me, lol..Its just lambing “being sweet”. Whenever I need her she’s there for me. She cleans up my mess, stays with me when I’m not yet sleepy, hugs me at night when I get nightmares, etc. She’s my room mate that even though I get angry a lot, she doesn’t mind but understands. Whenever I need practice with makeup, she’s there, ever so willing. She’s done a lot of things that a blog will simply not do justice. I miss her so much..so much it hurts. I’m the last person she’s with before she got a stroke. Been in the hospital ICU for a week for the treatment of aneurism but nothing can be done. She died this September 15, 2009. I’m an only child that it hurts a lot having only a few people around me and from that few people, someone will be taken away. Up to now I’m still not ok. Memories of her still haunt me. I love her so much. One thing I’m really hurt of is that I haven’t told her I love her..never. I never kissed or hugged her after a long time. I have so many regrets that If I can go back to the time she’s alive, I will do anything. Tita Riza, I love you so much. I hope you can hear me

15 comments :

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss...it is really painful to lose someone we love. you might not have said the words but all your hugs and kisses in the past and acceptance of her in spite of her disability are already expressions of love.

hugs,
CG

Askmewhats said...

*big hugs* condolence sis to your and your family. I can feel how in pain you are at the moment and no words could make you feel better :) I'll pray for your Tita Riza , I am sure she's resting in heaven

Tish said...

Oh gosh. I know what you're going through. My father died of aneurysm 7years ago. Everything happened so quickly. I'm just lucky that I and my siblings were able to talk to our father one last time before his first operation.

Be strong, Jamie. I can tell how much you love your aunt based on what you wrote. Look to God and find comfort and peace. Look around you and find people who love you and care for you. Take care, Jamie

adin_22 said...

I'm so sorry to here about your aunt...condolence to you & your family....I lost my dad last year and I even hadn't had the chance to see him before he passed away....just be strong and I'm sure that she knows you love her...

Sush said...

My condolences, so sorry to hear about your aunt. Prayers and love from me. I know i will be hard, just take some comfort knowing that she is with the Lord.

Halifax said...

So sorry for your loss. I believe she knows you love her. Very touching story. Stay strong!

neurochiq said...

My condolences to you and your family, Jamie. Be strong knowing that your Tita Riza lived a happy life because you accepted her & love her. God Bless you. Hugs*

Crystal said...

i'm so sorry for your loss jamie... we're here if you need anything.

Shen said...

The pain will go away, Jaimie.. Believe me. And all you will be left with are happy memories and little regrets. God has his own reason, we may not understand it but it all it does is teach us the value of life. If you can't hug your tita anymore, then do so with your mom and dad who loves her as you as you do. There, you'll feel that Tita Riza is still with you. We all leave a mark in this world even if we die with people we love, so surround yourself with people that your tita cared for and you'll feel she never left you after all..

i'm here for you sis. A text, an email, a ym and i'll be there... I miss you sis. Hang in there...

teeyah. said...

I'm sorry to hear about this, Jamie. :( I've lost my dad, too, years ago and it was painful. But time heals all wounds and as they say, when you lose someone, you will gain something/someone. God is good all the time. Stay strong :)

nikkiz. said...

So sorry to hear about this! Condolences sis. I'll be praying for her and your family. Be strong!

Crissy said...

My deepest sympathies Jamie! I'm sure your aunt is smiling at you, just like in the pictures:)

Krystia said...

Wow, it is so sad whenever we lose someone near to us, who is usually always there. My deepest condolences to you and your family on your loss. I lost my grammy this past February, so I can relate. However, one thing that I cannot grasp is never expressing your love and feelings toward anyone who you care about. My grammy had Alzheimers, but I still told her that I loved her and gave her a hug each day, even though she couldn't move or speak. Please pray to God for solace and learn from this to never take anyone for granted again.
xoxo,
Krystia

admin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
edelweiza said...

jamie, my condolences. grieve and then move on. i know she's watching over you from above. and she heard that 'i love you' you just whispered. XooXo :)

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